As I said at the end of last month, to stop myself losing momentum on my ‘goals’ for the year I am writing a little review of my progress at the end of each month. This report is supposed to show that I’m on track and (hopefully) stop me from getting fed up and grumpy that things never seem to happen as fast as I would like.
But while this might be beneficial to me, it’s annoying as hell to read.
So, I’ve had a rethink and have decided to post a thoughtful little something-or-other based on something that has happened during the month.
This month’s topic …. Nonfiction and editing.
I got rejected today and so decided to blog about it.
It’s not the first time and probably won’t be the last time.
Rejection is just part of the business
I tend not to get very upset when I send stuff to publishers/agents/magazines and receive a politely worded, but generic, letter back saying that what I write isn’t quiet for them. Or even when I send something in and never hear from them again. It doesn’t feel personal because it isn’t. I’m aware there are probably hundreds of writers submitting to that agent/publisher/magazine and can appreciate that there will be a high level of competition. I also understand that a lot of it comes down to personal taste. So I can, hand on heart, say that this kind of rejection doesn’t upset me too much. I usually just feel disappointed.
To be honest, I’ve often struggled to understand why writers take rejection so hard. My attitude has always been, get up, be proud that you had the guts to submit something in the first place, that took a lot of confidence. Now is the time to either find somewhere else to send to or write something new and shiny. I’m a big fan of the quote “Success is 99% failure”, and the idea that successful people are not the ones who got accepted first go, they are the people who got rejected and rejected and rejected, but they kept going. Even Stephen King and J.K.Rowling got rejected.
I’ve always been quite pleased with my realistic take on rejection.
Then I woke up this morning to a different kind of rejection.
In this blog I want to talk about so of the issues, I raise in my books, such as the orphans in My Name Is Jessica, homelessness and alcoholism in Grey Wings and Illness in Courage in Silence. But the main one that got to me was when I wrote about bullying.
In the early chapters of Grey, Wings Jason returns to his school to collect his belongings, and we get a glimpse of what he has been living with for the last year. As if his home life wasn’t hard enough with an alcoholic father who disappears for days on end and a mother who’s suffering from a severe depressive illness we learn that Jason’s friends not only abandoned him but actively sought to make his life worse.
I thought I would blog about something a bit different today. It is something that I sometimes struggle with and am aware that others do too.
Confidence is a lot of different things to different people.
To some people it is the ability to speak to a group, others it can go somewhere new by themselves. For me, confidence is knowing that I can do a job and do it well.
Sometimes we can be confident in some things but not others, for example, I have no problem posting my short stories online, talking to large groups of strangers or going to new places by myself. However, I have very little confidence when it comes to things like talking on the phone or doing something while being watched/judged. I crumble at the most mundane tasks if I know I’m being watched and judged, hence why I’ve failed my driving test twice despite being well able to drive and why I burned myself making tea yesterday.
Self-confidence is crucial; we need to be able to project ourselves as confident. After all, no one is going to be willing to follow your advice, believe in you, or back your ideas if you’re nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic. But most importantly we need to have the confidence to for us to believe in ourselves.So for those of us who are losing our groove, I’m going to share the few tip’s I’ve been following that have helped me pull myself back together this last week. They have worked for me, and I’m feeling so much happier in myself now.
So for those of us who are losing our groove, I’m going to share the few tip’s I’ve been following that have helped me pull myself back together this last week. They have worked for me, and I’m feeling so much happier in myself now.