Life & Love: 6 proven ways to build your confidence

I thought I would blog about something a bit different today. It is something that I sometimes struggle with and am aware that others do too.

Confidence is a lot of different things to different people.

To some people it is the ability to speak to a group, others it can go somewhere new by themselves. For me, confidence is knowing that I can do a job and do it well.

Sometimes we can be confident in some things but not others, for example, I have no problem posting my short stories online, talking to large groups of strangers or going to new places by myself. However, I have very little confidence when it comes to things like talking on the phone or doing something while being watched/judged. I crumble at the most mundane tasks if I know I’m being watched and judged, hence why I’ve failed my driving test twice despite being well able to drive and why I burned myself making tea yesterday.

Self-confidence is crucial; we need to be able to project ourselves as confident. After all, no one is going to be willing to follow your advice, believe in you, or back your ideas if you’re nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic. But most importantly we need to have the confidence to for us to believe in ourselves.So for those of us who are losing our groove, I’m going to share the few tip’s I’ve been following that have helped me pull myself back together this last week. They have worked for me, and I’m feeling so much happier in myself now.

So for those of us who are losing our groove, I’m going to share the few tip’s I’ve been following that have helped me pull myself back together this last week. They have worked for me, and I’m feeling so much happier in myself now.

Make a List

First and most importantly for me MAKE A LIST. When I realised how low I was getting, I sat down with a pen in my hand. I drew a line down the centre of the page and on one-half I listed everything that could be making me worried and sad. On the other half of the page, I listed solutions to these problems. Just identifying the possible source of the problem made me feel better.

Fulfil the List

Second, you need actually to do the things on your list. You need to give yourself a reason to have faith in you. Do not say you will do something then don’t do it, bloody well gets out there and fixes the problem. If the solution is too big to do at once, then, at least, get the ball rolling. If the problem is caused by an outside source, something you have no control over then minimise the damage.

Now that you’ve  worked out what is causing the problem and you’ve implemented solutions you should be feeling better already. Probably, maybe a little, but confidence can be a real pain that way so we might need to do a bit more.


If you feel better about yourself, you will be more confident. Give yourself a little pampering, I know it might be a bit superficial but spending a bit of time on myself made me feel better, and it changed the way people acted towards me. Because when you feel like you look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interacts with other people. On the same note keep an eye on your posture, stand straight, and keep your head up. Not only does it have health benefits but you’ll feel more alert and empowered.

Be nice

Sounds like something you mum would say to you when you pulled someone’s hair right? But you are what you preach, by making a conscious effort to compliment the people around you, you will look for (and find) the positives in them, and you’ll start looking for (and finding) the positives in yourself as well. This will become a habit, and you’ll stop seeing the negatives around you, and you will stop criticising yourself every chance you get, and this will start bringing out the best in you. Nothing destroys confidence like having a little critic in your head.

Do something fun

This won’t help confidence, but not everything needs to have a goal, do something just for the hell of it. Go on.

In Conclusion

In conclusion, getting things out of my head and onto paper helped me see things clearly, it’s a great exercise that helps. Do something about the things on your list that are damaging your confidence, knowing is half the battle, smashing things is the other half, go on Hulk smash stuff out of your life (if possible). Taking time for yourself is critical, how are you going to feel confident around others when you never take the time to appreciate yourself. Treating others the way you would like to be treated sounds corny, but it really can help. Lastly, have fun, fun is important. All work and no play don’t just make you dull it makes you miserable.

Those are my top tips on how to give your self-confidence a boost; I hope they are useful for you. If you’ve got any tips and tricks of your own, then please let me know!


One thought on “Life & Love: 6 proven ways to build your confidence

  1. Pingback: Writing rants: I’ve never been so happy to lose. – Katie Marie

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